This is a post I began working on well over a month ago. Ironically, I never finished and posted it. I probably got distracted. But I have a right mind to finish something around here so here we go...
Distractions are so easy to come by. Plus, I have limited self-discipline. Unfortunately, with these two factors working in tandem I have become a flighty, passionless, unmotivated, irresponsible "blob." For some, my current lifestyle and mind-frame may reflect a standard they find socially acceptable. But for me -- I'm feeling disappointed in myself. Instead of checking tasks off my "to-do" list I flip on the television or take a nap. Instead of picking up a book I turn on my laptop to check out Facebook news or the most recent YouTube video. Instead of stepping outside for a walk or heading to the nearest park to lounge on the grass I stay couped up inside. And by the end of the day I feel unaccomplished and wasteful of my time & blessings.
Even right now I have to fight the urge every few moments to pop open a new tab and see what the news is on Facebook. I just checked it 7 minutes ago. But I think it is similar to the bad habit so many of us have adopted -- reaching for our phone even without a specific purpose for using it. We have conditioned our brains to be fed information on a regular basis. Like a smoker who may find themselves subconsciously reaching for another cigarette, our modes of information input have become our addiction, even without most of us knowing it. And, again, while many may find this acceptable -- a way of life, "just how things are these days" -- I don't want to fit that mold.
But I know I already have some back-tracking to do. I have already allowed media and technology and the consumption of information to play a controlling part in my life. And I may not know the full scope of its control but I can look upon this area in my life from a third-party perspective and recognize when I am allowing myself to be seduced by the noise and the flashy images and all the components that make this information age so appealing and addicting. For example: Right now we have a few cable channels. So after I send Jordan off to work it is all to easy to flip on the TV. I tell myself, "I'll just watch until 8 o'clock." Of course, at 7:58 when the TV shows change I catch myself caught up in new show. So I make an extension - "I'll just watch this show and then turn it off." Even if I am good to my word and turn the TV off I find some excuse to turn it back on only a short time later.
Of course, right now our situation is unique considering we are living in a motel in a relatively unfamiliar city. It takes more effort to engage in other activities such as doing the laundry or finding the nearest grocery store or even going for a brief walk Regardless, I do not want to fill my spare time turning my brain off to be fed information or entertained. And, on top of that, I have plenty of things that I need to get done that keep getting pushed back by my lack of desire to engage my brain.
...And that's where it ended. Superficially, that could seem like a sufficient ending. But I'm sure I had a million more related topics rollin' around in my head that I could have spilled. Needless to say, not much has changed since I first composed this. Except that we now live in an apartment. Which brings with it a whole new set of "blog-able" issues.
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